环球教育教你写出漂亮的句子

句子改写是写作必备环节，改写的过程涉及到使用更加灵活的句式，寻找更加精准的单词，调整句子的顺序等。给大家提供几个小技巧，有助于你写出更加漂亮的句子。

1.简洁性原则

关于简洁性原则，William Zinsser 在他的 On Writing Well 一书中提到了一个经典案例：

二战时期罗斯福总统的一名下属需要通知上夜班的工作人员，在空袭期间，联邦政府的办公楼需要关灯或者避免光线外漏。该下属写了这么一则通告：

Such preparations shall be made as will completely obscure all Federal buildings and non-Federal buildings occupied by the Federal government during an air raid for any period of time from visibility by reason of internal or external illumination.

罗斯福看完之后，将它改成了：

Tell them that in buildings where they have to keep the work going to put something across the windows.

翻开任何一本英文写作指导书籍，其中一定会提及简洁性原则。在改写句子时，要学会删繁就简，去除赘词和套话。对于句子精简，以下几种方法可以参考：

(a)减少there be句型的使用

there be 句型很容易使用，但也很容易被滥用。在考场作文中我们可以见到大量的 there be 从句，但这些从句绝大多数可以省略。举个例子：

There are widespread rumours of job losses.

可以改写为：

Rumours of job losses abound.

there be 句型一般表示“某地有某物”，在修改时，可以使用一个恰当的动词进行替换（比如上面句子中的 abound ）

又比如下面这个例子：

There were more foreign students in the classroom than the natives.

可以改写为：

Foreign students outnumbered the natives in the classroom.

除了去掉 there be 结构之外，这里还使用 outnumber 来代替 more ... than ... 这一个比较结构。类似的词还有 outlive, outshine, outclass, outgrow, outperform 等。

(b)使用介词短语

很多时候，一个简单的介词往往会比一个从句更为简洁，举个例子：

(1) When they arrived at the police station, they were taken to an interview room.

(2) I'll call you when I arrive.

可以改写成：

(1) On arrival at the police station, they were taken to an interview room.

(2) I'll call you upon arrival.

这里使用on 以及 upon 介词来代替 when 从句，类似的道理，可以灵活使用 in, at, during 等其他介词来代替从句，起到事半功倍的效果。

(c)省略关系代词

除了 there be 句型之外，定语从句在考场作文中的使用频率也非常高。但从简洁性的角度考虑，绝大多数的定语从句同样可以精简。举个例子：

From childhood, he had an instinct that made him excited and interested in all things which were electronic.

可以改写成：

From childhood, he had an instinctive feel for all things electronic.

这里将关系代词 which 以及 that 省略，并且原句中 made him excited and interested in 语义重复，可以使用 instinctive feel 来代替。

又比如下面这个例子：

An Ideal Husband is a film adaptation of Oscar Wilde's play that tells the story of a popular politician who was involved in a scandal that led to his downfall.

句子可以改写成：

An Ideal Husband is a film adaptation of Oscar Wilde's play that tells the story of a popular politician brought down by a scandal.

这里将关系代词 who 以及 that 省略，句子的意思不变，但显得更加简洁。在作文修改中，可以尝试着将不必要的关系代词删除，或者将其转换为分词结构或名词词组，以达到精简的效果。

2.词性转换

英语中有一部分单词具有多重词性，巧妙利用词性转换，可以写出简洁的句子。举个例子，要表达“他在上海度假”，我们可能会写 He goes on holiday in Shanghai.

但其实还可以写成 He holidays in Shanghai. 这里将 holiday 作为动词使用，含义是“在……度假”。

又比如：

(1) Arthur Ashe is the captain of the U.S. team.

(2) Mr Cunningham, who teaches creative writing at Yale University, is extremely funny and psychologically observant, but he does not believe in happy endings.

上面句子可以改写为：

(1) Arthur Ashe captains the U.S. team.

(2) Mr Cunningham, who teaches creative writing at Yale University, is extremely funny and psychologically observant, but he is no believer in happy endings.

第一个句子使用 captain 的动词义“率领”，人物形象更为有力。第二个句子使用 believe 的名词形式 believer，这样语气更为强烈。

3.避免语义重复

语义重复是中国学生最常犯的写作问题之一，这与汉语的负迁移现象有一定关系。在汉语中我们会重复使用意思相近的词语或句子来达到增强语气的效果，但在英语写作中应尽量避免这种写法。

举个例子，在一篇关于间隔年（gap year）的雅思作文中，有这样一个片段：

Students who have used their time to volunteer for charities, serve internship or travel overseas have a broader view of life and better personal resources to draw on. They tend to be more adaptable and are able to embrace change and learn to adjust to different cultures, and this could be particularly valuable when it comes to job hunting.

第二句 They tend to be more adaptable and are able to embrace change and learn to adjust to different cultures 属于语义重复：整句话的核心为 They tend to be more adaptable，后半句的表述其实是前半句的重复，可以删去，句子改写成：

The adaptability hardened in a foreign land could be particularly valuable when it comes to job hunting.

再举一个例子：

In this modern world of ours today, the well-informed, knowledgeable person will succeed and be well ahead of the competition.

上面这个句子中，modern 和 today 重复，well-informed 和 knowledgeable 重复，succeed 和 be well ahead of the competition 重复，句子可化简为：

Well-informed person will succeed these days.